How Was School Today? 5 Tips For Making After School Time Smoother
It’s that time of year again. Alarms. Packed lunches. School supplies. Afterschool activities. The scent of sunscreen has started to fade and the smell of peanut butter (or sun butter) and jelly sandwiches are back. Fall is marked with transition, renewed friendships and new possibilities.
Sprinkles of Nerves
Sprinkles of nerves, I like to call it, are natural and happen at each step and stage of life. While there is excitement, there could still be worry. Where will I sit in class? Who I will eat lunch with? Will my teacher be nice? These sprinkles can look like stomachaches, headaches or grumpy moods. All of these feelings are normal and will not last forever. As parents, it is important to validate these feelings. We often want to take away these feelings, brush them under the rug, try to make it better by pointing out something else. Often the sentence goes like this, “Well at least you have…” Sound familiar? This year, try something new. Maybe tell a story about when you were nervous for your first day. Your child will soon feel connected to you and more comfortable that they are not alone.
How was school today?
How many times have you asked this to your child as soon as they got into the car and how many times have they said, “Fine.’” “Boring.” or “GO AWAY!” It is normal as a parent to be excited to hear about their day. It is also normal for your child to need some decompressing time. Think about when you walk in the door after work, do you want to be bombarded with questions, or do you want five seconds of silence? The transition from the ease of summer to a day of overstimulation and schedules is a lot!
Here are some tips to help the first five minutes after school go smoothly:
Ask your child if they would like some quiet time or would like to talk.
Broad, open-ended questions could be overwhelming for your child. Try question such as, “Who did you play with at recess?” “How did you feel during math class today?” “Is there something you need for tomorrow?”
Not every day is going to be a good day, and that is okay! Normalize that for your child, sit with the feeling and validate it.
When your child shares something they don’t like or a conflict with a friend, first stop and ask them, “Would you like me to listen or would you like some help navigating this?” This gives them the power to think about what they want in the moment. If they do ask for support, remember, support! You are helping your child learn strategies to overcome difficult things. Maybe you are teaching self-advocacy skills or conflict resolution skills.
The first three months of school are an ever changing process. Your child moves through the introductory phase, testing boundaries and settling in. These phases are normal and knowing this at the beginning of the year can help you manage your expectations as they move through the months.
A question I often ask myself is, am I doing or am I helping? So for this school year, change it up, try different strategies and see how you can support your child through another exciting year!
For more tips and tricks, join Jillian for a live, FREE workshop on September 9th at 7:30pm to discuss goal setting, routines and how to make your after school time a little smoother for everyone! Register here!
If you feel your child may need a little extra support this school year working through big feelings, transitions or anxiety, reach out to Jillian at jillian@thebarigroup.com!
