Where Are We Now?
Vol. II: Pre-Teens
An ongoing series examining the effects of COVID-19 on different age groups.
Pre-teens are finally back in the world being pre-teens. They are going through puberty, finishing up elementary school and entering the world of middle school. They are exploring friendships and relationships and asserting their individuality at home and in school. But right now, in 2024, are our current pre-teens really doing this?
In 2020, the current pre-teens were around six to nine years old. They should have been in school learning math, reading chapter books, socializing with their friends and going to endless afterschool activities. Instead, they were home and isolated during this pivotal time.
As they were home, they were missing out on resolving conflicts with friends, problem solving on their own and even going on their first sleepovers. So, where are they now? Some pre-teens are thriving academically as they were able to focus on school work and get ahead. Others are going on their first sleepover or heading to their first year of sleepaway camp as a 6th or 7th grader. Many pre-teens are still navigating resolving conflicts with friends and inevitably having increased emotions as they enter puberty.
So how can parents help?
Be patient: Remember that they are still learning skills they should have learned at seven or eight years old.
Support instead of fix: It is easy to just solve the problem for them, tell them the answer or remove them from a situation to help them feel better. Instead, help your child learn the skills they missed out on. Guide them in the right direction and discuss different possible outcomes and solutions, allowing your child to have control and choose what is right for them.
Be kind to yourself: It is easy to blame yourself when your pre-teen is having a big feeling, resulting in a big behavior. Be kind to yourself and to your family. You are doing the best you can to support your child.
If you are looking for more support for yourself or your child during this pre-teen time, reach out to jillian@thebarigroup.com to learn how we can work together!
